I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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