Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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