Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize