my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
