ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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