dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
