This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He passed out mid-signature
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
