So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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