so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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