piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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