i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
