I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
