Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
