There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am naked and annoyed.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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