Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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