; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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