y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
