i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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