maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
