i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
