I feel great
I just peed on a car
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
