Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize