Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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