I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
