i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
