Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize