he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
