Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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