i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
