All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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