I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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