you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
