there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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