it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
