I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
