Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
