omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
