shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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