Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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