I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
