i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
