sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it glows. i had to have it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize