Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
