You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
