dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
