just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
