It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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