please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
