sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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