He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
