sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Plan B is the new Plan A
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
