im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
