You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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