My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize