then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
