I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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