What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
