1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
are you so shy because you have an std?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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