Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
