tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
