OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Nicole vs. Life
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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