I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I forget how to act sober
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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