Non-Jews are for practice
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
