she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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