last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
