Me too!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
