At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
People in love make me want to vomit
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
